'Damn, It's Like They're trying to Kill Us and Stuff' Rebel US Soldiers Claim

Is our Commander-in-Chief running out of Indians? This is a link to a disturbing story about a battalion of US reserves stationed in Iraq that refused to go on a mission they thought was "too dangerous." Look, I'm sympathetic to our troops having to fight in an unnecessary, unpopular war, but if this proves to be a trend, it will undermine the entire foundation of our military. I think protest is important, but there's no room for entrepreneurship and "out-of-the-box" thinking on the battlefield. I guess its a product of an instant gratification culture where you throw a tantrum if Amazon.com is a day late with your Star Wars Dork-Edition DVD's. I guess one solution is to outsource military service to those who don't have any better options, work hard and follow directions - like Mexicans, Indians and Chinese. It's time to pull all our spoiled, rich kids out of the military...hmmm, I guess we did that already. Maybe this hands-on war business is not for us. We've got nuclear bombs don't we? It might upset a peacenik or two, but goddamn if it won't make for great TV!!!

Realistically, even if for some strange reason Kerry wins, there's no reason to believe he's got any real plan to get us out of Iraq. He's planning on adding two large units (no, not what you're thinking), but where are all the volunteers?? Know anyone who's signing up? We might just have to pull out, let their inevitable civil war happen, let Iran annex the Shiites, Turkey the Kurds and the Sunnis probably get executed. Sucks for the Sunnis. It'll be much easier for us to take over Saudi Arabia and Kuwait, anyway...

Disclaimer: I'm a big pussy. There's no way I'm signing up for ,military service. I'm far too valuable a thinker and humorist. In case of a draft, I expect to be rushed to a protected bunker with other precious celebrities like Ellen Degeneres, members of O-Town and whatever Olsen twin hasn't OD'd.


Probe Iraq 'Mutiny'