Eminem Granted Permission to Use the 'N-Word'; Rapper Layoffs Expected

In an unprecendented move, the NAACP, ACLU, BET, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and the Wu-Tang Clan have all signed a petition to allow white rapper Eminem to use the N-word. While black rappers have freely used the word in both its '-a' and '-er' forms, white rappers have had to hire black rappers to use the word on their albums. Many felt that this has severely damaged white rappers' ability to get "street-cred" in the black community.

Ripples of this historic event are being felt throughout the music community. Neither Jay-Z nor fellow-rapper/producer Kanye West had heard the news when they were greeted by a beaming Eminem backstage at the American Music Awards. Mr. West recalls, "Em came up to me, shook my hand and was like 'Wassup Ni---a!', so I punched him in the head and kicked him in the balls."

"Damn, Kanye knock him out cold!" remembered Jay-Z. "I thought he dead." Apparently, once Eminem regained consciousness, he pulled out his "Honorary N----" certificate. "That's when I punched him," smiled Jay-Z. "I thought he be playin' a bad joke." While Eminem was out a second time, Jay-Z reviewed the document and realized it was authentic. "I was like, 'damn, I guess he is an 'honorary n----!' It still don't feel right, but if anyone deserve it, it's Em. I guess I'll have to get used to it and stop beating his cracker ass."

"A lot of white rappers have come and gone - Vanilla Ice, Marky Mark, and several other douchebags Suge Night got hanging off his balcony. Eminem is the only one to have real staying power. Not to mention, phat beats, mad-pimpin' rhymes, and mink seat covers on his Escalade," said Brian Williams, associate editor of GQ (Gangsta Quarterly) Magazine, which sponsored the petition. "Unlike other whites, with lilly-white lives, Eminem is almost completely surrounded by black people. That has to count for something."

Activist and former presidential candidate Al Sharpton agrees, "I always hear white people make borderline racist comments and immediately try to cover up by saying, 'I have a lot of black friends'. Well, I think we finally found the one white guy who got all the black friends. I'd be proud to call him my honorary brotha from another mother, if I knew it would get me on TV."

Some in the rap community have not been as gracious. Several African American rappers, who asked to remain nameless, suspected their cameos on Eminem albums are about to dry up. One concerned rapper noted, "Now that he a n-----, there ain't no stopping him. He don't need us no more." The rapper also fired a sobering warning shot, "Now, if I hear one damn rumor about how big is his c--- is, I'm gonna pop a cap in that motherf-----."

Only time will tell if Eminem can truly use the N-word, and his c--k, wisely.

by faktorial.com - where we always use our c--ks with extreme caution



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