Bounty paper Towels Down to One Sheet Per Roll

Dennis Tildon went into his local ShopRite supermarket this evening to buy some last minute groceries. When he got to the paper products aisle, he reached for his favorite paper towel, Bounty. He noticed the roll seemed surprisingly light. After studying the label for forty minutes and converting the Martian centimetric cubic units to inches, he realized the roll only contained one paper towel.

"I clearly remember buying this same exact product last month and it had like 80 sheets for one dollar," said Mr. Tildon. "It's still only a buck, but there's only one f**king towel!" Mr. Swinson then did a quick inventory of his shopping cart. He discovered his Green Giant corn now contains only "corn-flavored water", his $2.19 bag of Doritos was only 28 grams and his batteries weren't included.

Fred Howard, Vice President of paper Products at Proctor and Gamble, the maker of Bounty explained, "We have a strict policy of not raising prices to our valued customers. We have done everything we can to keep retail prices low." Mr. Howard gestured colorfully with his hands as he spoke glowingly of his newest product, Charmin Ultra Natural, the new micron-thin two-play paper, which is now only two inches wide. "Narrower than the iPod Nano!" he exclaimed, as he stroked his well-manicured beard with his chocolatey-brown fingertips.

This trend is surfacing across all product categories. Even web space providers are limiting the amount of free storag