Pant-less Pensioner Topples Islam

A frisky, old codger in a two story hat,
Just called all of Islam “stupid, violent and fat”
With a wink and a smile, moderate Muslims went nuts,
Demanding his head in a bag with his guts

How shrewd a response, un-ironic to boot,
Muslims, so graceful, as you ready, aim, shoot
Jihads, slit throats, and exploding teen boys,
(Priests hate to expend such sweet, supple toys )

Right, wrong or insane, dear Muslims, R.E.L.A.X!
Light up a fat blunt; wipe that blood off your axe
When Messiah arrives, he’ll clear up this whole mess,
Or, he’ll toss you some virgins in a black, shapeless dress

Take solace that statements like those by the Pope,
Are desperate, last breaths of a faith on the ropes
In Europe, the only flock near a Pugh
Is a Japanese tour group with Nikon D52’s

While Africans die of AIDS, war, and neglect,
U.S. Evangelicals give us fools to elect
The only remains of the Catholic regime,
Are a drunk Irish stripper and Peru’s dodgeball team

So how does the Church compete nowadays,
With TV and TiVo and Tsunamis and gays?
We have JDate, V1aG.R-A, and that flirt Suri Cruise,
How ‘bout a new show where she dates famous Jews?

I say grumpy, old Popes shouldn’t ruin our fun,
So, priests grab each other, a Rabbi, or nun
Let’s rejoice in the glory of love and the skin,
Before Muslims put bombs in the Jeeps that we’re in


- by faktorial.com – fanning the flames of religious tolerance with both rhyme and reason